I wanted to write about the balance of motherhood and social media today. I am sure I'm not the only one who sometimes finds themselves scrolling through Instagram while Ben is playing in front of me. I'll catch myself mindlessly looking at photos and realize that Ben may be wiser than I am - he is having fun with the circumstances right in front of him. If I am talking to him and playing, I have his full, gummy-grin attention. He is always in the moment. How beautiful is that? Why does that innocent curiosity with the world around us often fade? Part of it, I believe, is because we live in SUCH a distracting world. You can't drive ten miles up the freeway without seeing 5 different billboards advertising McDonald's breakfast sandwiches or giving a cheerful slogan for a new bank down the road. You can't log in to Facebook without being bombarded with the amazing trip that Shirley from 8th grade is going on, or some guy sharing his extreme pro-Trump opinions, with a long and anger-inducing debate in the comments.
So, back to Benjamin and his amazing focus on exactly what's happening right in front of him - why don't I always give him the same attention? Sure, sometimes when he's awake and playful I need to clean something, make a phone call, or I get the chance to read or do the laundry. I can't always be staring at him and be his pillow, but why do I get caught up in my News Feed, watching random Facebook videos that aren't really all that entertaining?
This is not an article to make anyone feel insecure about their social media use - I think it's a lot of fun to take beautiful photos and post them on Instagram. I also am a hardcore Pinterest addict - I find everything from recipes to crafts to hair tips to quotes to advice for how to speak to your child when they're sad on there, and I have no plans to delete it!
Maybe this has all just been a huge rant. But I know that I don't want Ben to be clutching a shiny iPhone in a 4 year old fist because Mommy has one too. I don't want him to scroll through Instagram at 10 years old, seeing things that he doesn't understand or words that are hurtful or stumbling on a webpage that could affect how he sees the world or respects women. I've thought of some ideas to limit my own social media use around Ben, and just in general in my life, and maybe it will give you some food for thought.
1. Only use social media (Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or if you use Twitter) during nap time or sleep time. With the exception of taking pictures or responding to more urgent texts or calls, I'd like to start setting the phone down so he doesn't get used to seeing me with a phone in front of my face, and I don't become comfortable with scrolling through News Feed while he's learning to crawl or saying "mama" for the first time.
2. Each week, take one or two social media apps off my phone and rotate them through the week. Maybe on Monday it's Instagram, then Tuesday I don't touch Facebook. Those are typically my most frequently used ones.
3. Set a timer for a few hours and make sure to not open any social media apps. If your partner is trying to get a hold of you or you have to call the doctor, use your phone - but set a timer and mentally remind yourself to not look at your phone just because you're "bored".
4. If you find yourself fretting too much over your Instagram feed or what other people are posting on Facebook, take a step back. Who do you have to impress? Who are the core people in your life that you really and truly care what they think of you? For myself, it's definitely not all my followers! It's about 10 people. I can guarantee that those people could not care less if my Instagram feed is #goals #aesthetic. They care if I am being kind, genuine, honest and just staying true to myself.
Once again, this is not a post to make anyone feel insecure about their social media use. Especially if you're a stay at home mom, sometimes being at home with a baby all day can feel a little isolated and it's easy to find community online - I'm not denying that by any means. If I was, I wouldn't be blogging right now, right?! This is simply a mental check to not think too much about what people think of you online, and to stay in the moment and enjoy the people right in front of you.
Love,
Megan (aka early bird MAMA!)
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