Sometimes, being a stay-at-home mom can feel a little bit like the movie Groundhog Day. There are so many things about being able to stay at home with the boys that I'm so grateful for, but I'm not going to list them all off right now! Today, I'm writing about keeping afloat when these treasured days with your children sometimes feels like each new morning is exactly the same as the last. The daily grind of changing diapers repeatedly, cooking meals and preparing snacks, and cleaning up the same messes over and over sometimes makes me feel like I'm just not doing anything that important, and that's when I start to feel frustrated and altogether down on myself. Everything I do feels like it gets automatically erased - every fresh diaper is dirty again within an hour, every time I clean the kitchen it gets messy again with the next meal or the next time Ben decides to root through the drawers, and the minute I fold and put away the heaping pile of laundry, it seems to regenerate itself as a huge dirty pile on the laundry room floor. The same power struggles with my strong-willed and rebellious (but luckily for him, very adorable) two year old. The same milk stains on my shirt every time my infant eats. When I'm in a tough week, it feels easiest to just stay at the house and schlep around, cleaning up messes and playing with the kids at home. Unfortunately, that can sometimes lead to feeling stir crazy and wondering if I'll ever wear anything besides stains and sweatpants.
I've learned that to keep myself feeling happy and patient as a mother and just as a human being, I need to keep my life fresh and feeling exciting. A few years ago, that meant planning trips, going on crazy dates with Chris, having fun with friends, and putting my best foot forward at work. Now, it looks a little different - it requires more planning and energy, but I've learned a few tips to go into each new week feeling excited and ready for a new week - with new experiences and a little less of a Bill-Murray-in-Groundhog-Day vibe.
Plan ahead. This is probably my biggest piece of advice for anyone who's dealing with similar struggles - this whole motherhood gig feels a lot easier when there is planning involved. Planning meals, planning activities, just having a sense of what's going to happen and being prepared for it. This helps so much when it comes to going on outings with the boys - it feels a lot easier to just stay at home and feel kind of slumpy when I don't get ready in the morning and my diaper bag isn't packed. Let's be honest here - getting two children out the door is not an easy task. Extra outfits, diapers, snacks, drinks, stored milk - all need to be packed up. Everyone needs to be dressed, fed, potty'd, and prepared for the weather. Depending on where we're going, decisions on whether the stroller, wagon, or carrier need to be packed and if we need to bring extra food. Not to mention the physical work of getting a toddler and a small infant out the door and in their carseats. So, plan ahead! Either take a day on the weekend or just the night before, and get everything packed. Get snacks in baggies and drinks ready, pack the diapers you'll need and look into activities or decide which park or stores you're planning to visit. Get everything ready so it's easier for you to get out the door and go on an adventure with your little ones in the morning.
Get ready! Set! Gooooo! No, I'm not talking about racing your children (although that might keep your day a little more fresh with some healthy competition.) I'm talking about getting ready for the day. Putting on a comfortable outfit that's an actual outfit, brushing your hair, washing your face, maybe taking a quick shower while the babies are safe and busy if you're feeling crazy! Recently, I've started giving Ben his bath in the morning, and getting ready for the day in the bathroom while he plays in the bath. Beau sits in his bouncer, and it gives me the time to be able to put on a little makeup and feel like a human being again. I think it can feel so pointless to take a moment to get ready when you're a stay at home mom - usually my mascara smears a little by the end of the day from playing and rough housing with Ben, and my hair ends up in a bun, but feeling like I'm ready to take on the day puts the extra pep in my step and usually puts me in a better mood.
Try something new - with your kids. Do some research in your area - maybe there are some parks you haven't visited, a kids museum or play area that you want to go check out. There are often many free library toddler story classes or baby playtimes that are fun to check out. Make a plan to go to a new place each week just to switch it up! Maybe there's a trail near your house that you've always wanted to check out - load up the stroller and bring the kids with you. Sometimes, it ends up in a disaster (I've taken Ben on many disaster outings, lol!) but sometimes you find a new activity that is really fun and adds a new dimension or social aspect to your week. Or, work on a project together. It depends on the age of your little ones, but Ben enjoys helping me garden or cook. Bake something new every week together.
Explore your passions. I'm a nap time crafter, writer, and cleaner. (Cleaning isn't necessarily a passion, but it's kind of just part of my life lol!) Try to keep exploring things that interest you - listen to audiobooks, do workouts, craft, write, do whatever that makes you feel fulfilled in a different way when you can. There are certain seasons of life and motherhood that feel like there's really no time to do much than just mother and keep afloat, and that's fine, too! If you have time to do extra things you love, great. If not, remember that each season is temporary. Speaking of...
Remember that each phase and season is temporary. Isn't that the bittersweet truth at the core of motherhood? Those tough seasons (I'm kinda going through one now! Newborn and toddler combo equals lots of exhaustion for this mama!) come to an end sooner than you think. I remind myself of this on the hard days - if Ben is going through a sleep regression phase or Beau wants to be on the boob 24/7, I remind myself that in a few years, all of these frustrations or tough moments will feel like sweet distant memories. There will come a time in the not too distant future that I will be working again, they'll be in school, and the difficulties will still be there, but they'll look a whole lot different.
I hope this will help a stay-at-home mama who's finding it challenging or a little monotonous - I've been there, and sometimes it really just requires a little work and planning to switch it up and have some fun! Another thing? Try not to let a tantrum or two keep you from leaving the house. I can't tell you how many times Ben has screamed at the top of his lungs in the middle of Target, and I get a look from some old lady. (I've learned that sometimes old ladies in grocery stores think they know what's best for all children - anyone else ever had a random old lady tell them to "Make sure you take care of that baby!" in a store? Because I have! And it's annoying! Lol. I always want to say, "Oh, I was actually going to just leave him in the parking lot, but since you said that, I will now make sure to take care of him. Thank you.") I just smile back at her, and continue on my day, screaming toddler and all. Don't let the little things ruin a great day!
Alright, I'm starting to ramble. Thank you for reading and I hope you all have amazing, fresh days today!
Xo,
Megan
*Graphics used were created in Canva, and the photos were stock images available on Canva. :)
